GUEST POST: "400 LBS"

This is a poem by Andrew Bevard, who's a fellow dishwasher at the restaurant I work at. It's the most intellectual dish pit in the state!!!

400 LBS. 

She waddled up to my front door 
from the street
A real donut of a woman
Caked in layers of frosting and glaze
She was ugly; had the sexual appeal
of an abscessed tooth
She came inside
Her scent was reminiscent of wet dog
and overcooked Brussels sprouts
I was simultaneously excited and nauseous
I was going to fuck her.
We worked
She came
She shit in my bed