CELEBRITY GUEST POST: "BLADEE IS MY NEW FAVORITE RAPPER" BY THOMAS OF 100 GRAND ON MY WRIST, YEAH LIFE SUCKS

BLADEE IS MY NEW FAVORITE RAPPER

Hi friends! My name is Thomas and I used to write about rap music on a blog called 100 Grand on My Wrist, Yeah Life Sucks. That was a long time ago and I have since learned how to turn my time and energy towards more important things. Or have I? Strap in, this is not going to be a short post lol.

Let me ask you a question, gentle reader: do you feel dead on the inside? Did you answer yes? Then, boy do I ever have the musical artist for you! If you answered no, then that's probably for the best and I hope you have a wonderful life and continue to enjoy music that makes you want to dance or reminds you of good times from college. IDK.

Ok anyways, back to the dead-on-the-inside group: Bladee is going to be your new favorite rapper.

A quick background: Bladee (pronounced "blade", I think he must understand googlability) is a Swedish rapper who first came onto the scene in the early/mid 2010s as one of Yung Lean's friends. Before you jump to conclusions, I don't really think the two have a lot in common, musically. Also I'm not really a fan of Yung Lean, but he's been around long enough to no longer be dismissed as some sort of novelty/gimmick rapper. Ok back to Bladee:

This is probably my favorite song by Bladee and the first one that made me want to seek out all other music by him. I sent this song to Jesse all excited when I first heard it and he said it was not catchy enough for him. That's fair (no hook!) and I've listened to this song so many times I can't really describe why it's good at this point. I guess I just really connect with the cold and empty vibe of the beat and lyrics. Here's something a little more catchy:

Bladee is really good at writing hooks IMO and I think you can start to appreciate the chill vibes his music gives off while still having an underlying sadness. I should mention Ecco2K is his bff and does a ton of features with him and along with another rapper named Thaiboy Digital they are called "Shield Gang". What are the odds of being friends with a Thai and black guy in Sweden?? I'm guessing slim. Oh hey speaking of quality hooks:

This song makes me feel like I am floating in calm waters in the middle of the night looking at the stars as I pray for death to take me. Big thumbs down to Big Kray for lightweight ruining the song sounding like Santa Claus (comparison stolen from youtube user CrunchyCoconut). 

This is my favorite song off Bladee's last album, Eversince. Some of the lyrics here I really connect with and the opening feels very emotional and poetic to me *single teardrop emoji*. Bladee's lyrics in general are a really weird mix of expressing feelings of emptiness and isolation mixed with rap cliches such as bragging about smoking weed, referencing designer brands, and making vague threats. This might sound terrible and weird to you, but the lyrics are always abstract enough to not come across as cheesy and it works for me. Some of his lines will have you genuinely concerned for his mental health, but they are all delivered in a cold emotionless manner that replaces any angst with what feels like someone having a constant out of body experience.

Eversince is actually a great album. Truly the first rap album I've listened to from front to back that I've enjoyed in years. The production is absolutely nuts and perfectly matched to Bladee's lowkey melancholy vocoded crooning. On a lot of songs Bladee doesn't have to do much as your head is already spinning from the beat (EX: "Sick", "Romeo" & "Who Goes There"). I was able to find one legit review of the album that opens with "The paradox of Eversince is that Bladee's indifference is engaging" and describes the beats as "...like colour in suspended animation, weightless and bright." Oh boy! I have never thought about the weight of color with a "u" in suspended animation, but props to that reviewer. Is there anything more difficult than writing seriously and honestly about music without it sounding corny? I think this might be the most difficult task in writing. This is probably why all your favorite music writers kind of seem like jaded pricks.

In 2017 I digest all my music criticism and reviews via youtube comments. For example, here is a comment from Bladee's "Subaru":

This is the most succinct and accurate review I have found of Bladee's music.

In my mind, this is the song Jesse is most likely to enjoy. If you find the left-field weirdo beats a bit much, then perhaps this more traditional trap beat is the Bladee track for you. Oh also! Please take note of Ecco2K's verse (2nd verse), it is overwhelmingly dope. Basically just weird word association, but he rhymes rhinestones/iPhone/limestone/Cairo/die slow, so how can you not love that!?

Ok that's it! Bye and thanks for reading. I hope you are doing well. Just focus on working hard and being kind to others and everything will turn out fine. Don't dwell on negative thoughts and let them manifest in harmful actions towards yourself. It's all about learning how to be critical of yourself so that you can improve your actions and not self-destruct. If you focus on serving others you will be happy and you can start to slowly vacate that pit of emptiness and despair in your heart.

...

Wow!! Thanks again to Thomas for sharing his gift with the world. Whenever he contributes to this blog I feel like a rapper who "got bodied on his own song," but like Thomas always says, you have to put your ego aside for the greater good. Please don't stop bloggin', Thomas.